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<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnger is a very common emotion, particularly for people suffering from fibromyalgia. It is a natural, human reaction and yet it doesn\u2019t get an awful lot of attention as a side effect to chronic pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s one thing to accept our anger, but it\u2019s another to let that anger consume us and let it impact our lives and the lives of others. It can be difficult to draw that line when you feel enraged by what you have lost and what has emerged in its place; you\u2019ve been given a life that you didn\u2019t plan and wouldn\u2019t choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, there are things you can do to keep your anger at bay and prevent it from encroaching on your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A friend of mine once told me I was the angriest person he knew. It became a bit of a running joke \u2013 we would meet up for drinks and before long I was ranting and he was mocking my anger. It was just the way it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A year later I was talking to a psychiatrist after yet another unsuccessful referral following a fibro flare\u2013up, and I told him about my anger. He asked me to give him some examples of what made me angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I went through the list he quietly listened, then asked: \u201cWhat makes you think this is anger? You sound like an intelligent girl who\u2019s ranting about the things that are important to her. What\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn\u2019t weird and angry, I was normal and healthy. I\u2019m sharing this story because there is a big difference between feeling angry and being an angry person. Don\u2019t let the label consume you; recognize that you\u2019re allowed a good rant from time to time. It\u2019s necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This might seem quite simple at first, but I think it\u2019s important to get a good understanding of what makes you angry in the first place so that you can look at ways to control or avoid it in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not a doctor, but experience has taught me that there are often small triggers that can cause you to feel more angry than usual, and identifying these triggers can be a key step to overcoming negative emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can start by making notes or lists whenever you feel your anger developing, which will help you find patterns in your behavior. For example, you might think your anger stems from something broad, like having fibromyalgia, but as you start to take notes you will start to see the smaller triggers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps it\u2019s the patronizing way your partner talks to you when what you really need is strength and support, or perhaps it\u2019s the fact telemarketers call you three times a day and you just can\u2019t cope with another phone call. These small occurrences are part of a bigger issue, but they\u2019re still a valid contributor to the anger you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m a firm believer that if you don\u2019t like something the way it is, you should make a change. Obviously, this has restrictions; I don\u2019t like the fact I have fibromyalgia but I can\u2019t change it. However, what I can change is the way I think about it and the way I choose to cope with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Having made notes and identified the things that trigger your anger, it\u2019s time to start finding ways to address and avoid it. Taking the examples from above, if your partner\u2019s behavior is causing your anger then you should tell them how you prefer to feel supported.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Taking control over your triggers can be a way of reducing the amount of anger you feel or the frequency with which you feel it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a person who is prone to ranting and raving, I don\u2019t find it easy to connect to my inner calm. However, I know that it\u2019s an essential coping strategy for fibromyalgia patients because it doesn\u2019t just ease anger; it eases anxiety and depression and often reduces the frequency of flare-ups too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The trick here is to make sure you find YOUR inner calm, not the calm that works for someone else. Annoyingly, this takes time and it means you have to put in some work, but it\u2019s totally worth it. I spent a long time thinking that my inner calm could be found at the back of a meditation class or in the depths of a yoga retreat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After three yoga classes and two attempts at meditation, I realized they were frustratingly slow and making me angry. Oh, the irony! I am sarcastic and impatient so meditation \u2013 try as I might \u2013 was just not for me. Some find their calm in a bath with relaxing candles, but I\u2019m really more a shower girl so that didn\u2019t work for me either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It takes time to work out where to find your inner calm, but it\u2019s a journey well worth taking because when you start to recognize the signs of anger you need to know there is somewhere you can go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is yet another common coping strategy for fibromyalgia sufferers in general, but it\u2019s really important when it comes to managing your anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Often, when we get angry, we shout and become aggressive and intimidating. People stop listening to the words and just see the rage, so you need to make sure that you explain what makes you angry and what you\u2019re doing to overcome it. This could be as easy as talking to your family, but if you really struggle to control your emotions then it may be helpful for you to seek professional help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This could mean talking to your doctor or attending anger management classes, but there are also a number of mental health support groups and online forums that might give you the outlet you need to talk about your anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The important thing is to address your anger. Don\u2019t push it away; the rage monster will lurk in the background and come back twice as angry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Anger is a very common emotion, particularly for people suffering from fibromyalgia. It is a natural, human reaction and yet it doesn\u2019t get an awful lot of attention as a side effect to chronic pain. It\u2019s one thing to accept our anger, but it\u2019s another to let that anger consume us and let it impact our lives and the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-english"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6\/revisions\/9"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fibromyalgiaawareness.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}